A helpful list for Avery for the next time we go to the mall…
1) Do eat all of your dinner. “Accidentally” dropping food on the floor and saying “All Done” isn’t considered finishing your dinner. I’m on to you…just so you know.
2) Don’t ask the salesperson in Origins why she isn’t smiling. It’s hard to explain to you, as you are 3, but she seemed like a bitter woman who didn’t want to be working at the mall on a Friday night. I also think she was a little peeved at Mommy b/c I wouldn’t buy more. And I had a coupon for $10 off and one for a free sample of some mega mushroom face serum which she didn’t know was out there. (Side note: I love Origins – I got my night cream and tons of samples of their products. If you ask – they’ll give you samples of anything. SCORE!)
3) Don’t try to go on the escalator yourself. Especially down the UP. It will result, as you learned last night, in a public whack on the bottom. It’s only too bad that your cute jeans with the embroidered pockets cushioned the blow. I know you are a big girl and can get on and off the escalator all by yourself, but only when accompanied by an adult. Got it?
4) Do listen to me when I tell you NOT to do something. I know Grammie will ask you in a much gentler way but her requests do not supersede mine and you need to listen to MY MOMMY VOICE. CuzI mean business and I’m the one that you have to go home with.
5) Don’t attempt to climb into the “river” (read: fountain). Just because you saw that little boy almost get in it cuz his dad was completely ignoring him doesn’t mean you can do it.
6) Do feel free to look at the amazing sparkles in the flooring at Victoria’s Secret. It was so cute that you loved it in there so much. Do feel free to look at all of the pink – since it’s your favorite color. I don’t mind one bit.
7) Do stay with me at all times. I know you like to stop and smell the flowers, look at all of the fountains, hug the mannequins and talk to every sales person but it really slows us down. (Although it was hilarious watching you try on shoes at Nordstrom – even though they were about 25 sizes too big)
8) Don’t repeatedly ask for a second cookie. You had one from Mrs. Field’s and although the salesperson behind the counter talked me into buying 3 and getting a 4th free – it doesn’t mean you can eat them all tonight. By asking over and over again it constitutes whining. And whining is the one thing that Mommy doesn’t deal well with. I appreciate you apologizing to me for whining but starting up again 2 minutes later and attempting to get said cookies out of my purse on the drive home pushed me over the edge. Whining makes Mommy drink red wine and wake up with a massive headache (like I did this morning). That doesn’t make for a happy Mommy. Ok?
9) Do know that I understand this is part of being 3 – acting this way. And I know you will grow out of it. But until you do, can you please work with me on this?