Thank you note rant

You might think I am a little nuts (if you don’t already) but I am a STICKLER for writing Thank You notes.  I was raised this way…get a gift, immediately send a TY note.  Handwritten, personalized, etc.  My mom had me doing them when I could write and I write them well and am very timely in sending them out. (Ok, if you are reading this and I owe you a TY note…sorry!  I have been busy.)  

When Hubby and I got married, TY notes were sent two days after the showers and within a month of the wedding.  See what I mean?  Slightly anal.

Anyhoo – I get pissed when I don’t get a TY note for a gift.  Really I do.  I can’t let the matter die.  We (Hubby, Avery and I) were in  his cousin’s wedding in 2007.  I went to a shower in May, hosted a shower in June, went to her Bachelorette party and was in the wedding.  I made them a freaking scrapbook for crying out loud.  In total we spent about $2000 on this wedding.  NO THANK YOU NOTE – not for ANY of it.  This really gets my blood boiling.  Good thing I don’t have to have my blood pressure taken right at this exact moment.  For some reason, I just can’t let this matter die.  It haunts the back of my mind and pokes at me every once in awhile.  And I know I am getting on a tangent but I have tell you how important this little bit of etiquette is to me. 

But recently, I discovered a new trend.  A major faux paux in my mind, the Queen of the Hand Written, sealed, stamped note.   Recently, friends of ours warranted a gift.  Hubby and I selected it, and I mailed it.   A few days later, I got a message on Facebook.  At first I thought it was just acknowledgement of the gift, but the more I read the message, it was intended to be a REPLACEMENT for a mailed TY.  Um, I was bothered by this.  I am one for technological advances and quick communication but has it gotten so bad that taking less than 5 minutes to write a note is too much?  I hope not…in this era of Crackberries, and texting, and email, and cell phones, it would be a shame to lose such a personal touch to technology.

This will never happen to me.  And Avery will learn the importance of writing a thank you note.  And she will kick and scream, just like I did.  I couldn’t understand why my mom forced the issue.  Until I was an adult.  Then I got it.  And thank you note classes will begin…Just as soon as she can write her name.

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14 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Linda
    Jan 27, 2009 @ 15:40:11

    So, you are going to make Avery “kicking and screaming” as anal as you?

    I try to write Thank You notes but I know I’m not as good as you. I hope I never forgot to write one to you. Let me know and I’ll write an official sorry note. 🙂

    I’m getting ready for all those notes I will be writing this summer for showers and after baby arrives.

    Reply

  2. Brenda
    Jan 27, 2009 @ 17:11:03

    oh I can so relate!!! I was raised the exact same way and I make my kids write notes as well! just wanted to let you know it is important to others as well!!

    Reply

  3. courtney
    Jan 27, 2009 @ 18:26:39

    You are preaching to the choir. I even hate evites. Send me an invitation!!!!

    Reply

  4. jen
    Jan 27, 2009 @ 20:49:14

    I am so with you! A TY note is common courtesy. I can’t imagine not sending one. (We have a nephew who is famous for this, so I stopped giving gifts this year, ha!)

    Reply

  5. lifeonthetailofacomet
    Jan 27, 2009 @ 22:48:11

    You are on the right page. It’s really basic old fashioned good manners.

    Reply

  6. Shannon
    Jan 27, 2009 @ 22:50:53

    I don’t think a hand-written TY is too much to ask! I write them… my oldest will now write her own, but I still have to write them out for the youngest (but she will sign her own name).

    BTW, the camera Shane bought was a Sony Alpha 200… with 18-70mm & 75-300mm lenses. And thanks for checking out his blog 🙂

    Reply

  7. Life, Love & Lola
    Jan 27, 2009 @ 23:25:00

    I’m all about “Thank Yous” High five to you Dana! I couldn’t agree more!

    Reply

  8. cristin
    Jan 28, 2009 @ 12:18:45

    Uh… we could never be friends… I suck at writing TY notes… you’d get so pissed at me…

    Reply

  9. Dana
    Jan 28, 2009 @ 12:22:43

    I wouldn’t get pissed. My close friends have a repreve…even a phone call is ok in my book. It’s more personal than an email or freaking nothing at all.

    Reply

  10. Heather
    Jan 28, 2009 @ 14:26:50

    I am totally with you on this. My parents were the exact same way with my sister and I when we were growing up. And I too hated it. But now I see the importance and am instilling the same courtesy in Lauren. She’s not even 3 yet and she helps with the thank you note. It irritates me when I don’t get a thank you for a gift. It only takes 2 minutes and all you have to say is thank you. Argh!

    Reply

  11. Heidi
    Jan 28, 2009 @ 21:21:07

    Right there with you!! And I can’t let it die either. My SIL got married in December 2002, had a baby shower in February 2003 and had the baby in April 2003. We didn’t get a thank you for a damn thing we gave her and neither did anyone else. It pisses me off and I can’t let it go. lol

    Reply

  12. shannie
    Jan 29, 2009 @ 10:36:10

    I am the same way… Except we don’t write them for close family for Christmas or birthday gifts. If it’s close family (Like grandmother, aunt, uncle, sister, brother) and we exchange gifts, we don’t write them to each other. I think you do, right? Any more distant of a relative, or friend, or stranger, though, and yes, you get one. But, omg, I can’t imagine not getting one or writing one for shower, wedding or birthday gifts from others! (And I did write them to close relatives for wedding stuff.)

    You know I am an etiquette stickler, too. And I can write a thank you note like nobody’s business. However, it wouldn’t surprise me if there has been something that I didn’t write you one for… Seeing as how I talk to you fifty seven times a day & IM just as much… You kind of get that sisterly reprieve in my book.

    Anyway, I know this has been bugging you. I guess, even though I know to write one, not everyone does… So, I just accept that and understand that not everyone can be as etiquettely proper and informed as we are!

    This has to be the longest comment in the world…

    The no TY for the wedding, etc… is totally unaccpetable. The other, while I wouldn’t do it or like to receive it, at least you got a TY of some form!!! I’m sure she had no idea (obviously!) that she was making an etiquette faux pas! And, who knows, maybe you’ll still receive one in the mail!

    XO!

    Reply

  13. shannie
    Jan 29, 2009 @ 10:36:25

    Holy CRAP that was long!

    Reply

  14. Sissy
    Jan 30, 2009 @ 18:31:04

    I’m with you, dear. My birth anouncements with Aidan went out before I left the hospital and he was 4 weeks early! There is one couple (hubbys friends) that we never get a thank you – not even a verbal – from. Not their wedding gift, baby gifts, not a damn thing. They weren’t my faves to begin with but this seals it up for me. They’re out 🙂

    Reply

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