Upon seeing the title of this post, you probably thought I was talking about Hubby, right? I hear people complain about their husbands and their “selective hearing” when it comes to Honey-Do lists and whatnot. But he isn’t the culprit.
It’s our dog. Bear.
Tell him to get off the sofa. He acts like he doesn’t hear you.
Tell him to stop trying to hump Montana (it’s the steroids, folks, I had him fixed years ago after an embarrassing trip to a dog park in Dallas…but that’s another story). He looks in the other direction. Kinda like “Maybe I heard something but I’m losing my hearing so I’ll just keep doing what I’m doing”… He also doesn’t hear her growling – a signal that says she’s not in the mood and to back to fuck off or she’ll bite him. (Hey Bear – you might want to listen to her…)
Ask him to come inside from basking in the sun when you are running late to get somewhere. “Huh, what’d you say? You weren’t talking to me, were you? I think I’ll just turn over and get the other side.”
BUT. BUT. BUT.
Sleathly open a Kraft Single two rooms over from where he is sleeping – he comes a runnin’.
Damn Dog. He’s playing this old age act to the hilt. I’m on to him.