Aaahhhhh Sugar Sugar

Pole dancing – not for the faint at heart.  That’s for damn sure.  The party was last Friday night and I am just now getting the sensation back in my arms and ass…

I really wasn’t sure what to expect, since my only knowledge of pole dancing comes from the big screen.  But I went at it was gusto.  And let me tell you…it’s fucking hard.  Imagine using your arms to lift your entire body weight off the ground and propel yourself around a pole.  A stationary, metal object.   I spent more time on my ass on the floor than doing any actual spinning.   Bruises, blisters, sore ass, sore arms.   You name it, I had it. 

We learned some moves – 4 or 5 spins – some floor work and put it all together.  It took 2 hours…and by the drive home, I could barely lift my arms.  Two days later, I noticed a huge bruise on the back of my left leg.  WTF?   But then I did spend hours wrapping it around the pole.  What did I expect? 

These strippers make it look easy.   Spinning, inverting, all the tricks.  But I did learn that there is a way to “fake” it and it seems quite profitable.  It’s called “Clapping the ass”.  Yes, there is some severe ankle wiggling that results in the buttocks clapping together.  Apparently men love it…throw dollar bills at it…I tried it.  I suck at it.  Too much cellulite I suppose. 

There are pictures…and I will post them at the risk of embarrassing myself.  Wanna see ’em?

This is called the Fireman’s Spin.  Maybe I would have looked more graceful doning a fireman’s suit while attempting it…over and over and over.  Never quite got the hang of it.

Our lovely group…we had a great time, drinking boxed White Zin from plastic cups.   We laughed a lot which made the night that much more entertaining.

That last one…most important.  Proper method of accepting dollar bills while working the pole.  However, based on my performance, I don’t expect the aforementioned career change.  Hell, I’m lucky I didn’t do permanent damage.

A word for the men out there…pay those girls well.  It ain’t as easy as they make it look.

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