Life in General

What’s Wrong With This Picture?

It arrived….the Barbie Whorehouse.

With multiple new Barbies.

Now tell me…what’s wrong with this picture?  (You must have a dirty mind to appreciate it….)

Ok, I’ll give you a hint.  Look at the bed upstairs….look at the sofa on the 2nd floor.  See the passed out Barbies?  Especially the one on the sofa with her feet still in the air?

Now check out the elevator.

That’s Ken….

He’s the newest Ken – “Love Em and Leave Em Ken” complete with smoking jacket, ascot and swash buckling boots.

Or maybe we should name him Man-Whore Ken.

Either way…it was bound to happen in a pink and purple townhouse with a rooftop spa.

Life in General

Deep Thoughts

Audio:  Deep Thoughts Music from SNL of many moons ago….you remember, from when SNL was funny…

They aren’t REALLY deep thoughts…more like the random ponderings that float in and out of my mind on a daily basis.

1.  Avery owns a fur coat.  A blue fur coat that my parents bought her in Alaska.  She finally wore it  to school a couple weeks ago.  She looked like a Diva.  She thought she was hot stuff.  It completely suited her personality.  Hopefully there won’t be any animal rights people stationed outside her preschool that might throw red paint on her.

2.  I love baby toes.  Carson finally found his.  It’s been weeks of discovering  lots of new things for the boy.  He squeals with delight all the time.  I love hearing it…it’s usually what wakes me up.  And he finally caught those toes…next comes sucking on them.  It shouldn’t be long now.

3.  As much as I bitch about seeing all of the Christmas stuff in the same aisle as the Halloween stuff…I couldn’t wait to put up my tree this year.  And get out all of my decorations.   I might have to get a few new ornaments this year.  A trip to Target is in order.  And while I’m at it, I might as well pick up her Valentine’s – get a jump on it.   I think I saw them on an endcap next to the Easter stuff, at the end of the Christmas aisle.  Think the candy will keep til February?

4.  Hubbydecorated outside this year!!!  Yay!!!

5.  108 brown bags later, we are finally done with the leaves.  I helped …by driving the tractor.  Rocked it.  I looked so damn cool.  I didn’t want to stop.

6.  Whoever invented Polly Pockets should be strung up by their toenails.  I can only conclude 2 things…whoever s/he was…A) didn’t have children at crawling age that put everything into their mouths.  I don’t yet, but it won’t be long.  and B) must have had the nimblest fingers in the to manuver those tiny shoes and rubber clothes on to those silly dolls.

7.   Carson adores his big sister.  She manhandles him on a daily basis.  I mean seriously just manhandles him.  And I get on her for it.  Then I look over and he is smiling and cooing and laughing at her.  Total adoration in his eyes.  Or maybe it’s the gleam of plotting…dreaming of the day when he is bigger than her and she’ll get it in return.  Noogies, headlocks, endless tormenting.   I’m not really sure.

8.  Why does everything BABY run on fucking D batteries?  And why oh why does every single fucking thing run out of power at the EXACT same time?  Buy stock in Duracell people.  You’ll be glad you did.

9.  Avery is getting a Barbie Dream Town House for Christmas.  I found it for a great price at Costco.  But Hubby has renamed it – Barbie’s Whorehouse.  It’s appropriate – given the pink and purple flashiness of it.  And Barbie has a roof top spa.  I want a roof top spa.  Lucky Bitch.

10.  We still haven’t had snow yet.  It’s coming.  But usually we’ve had at least a dusting.  Or a couple inches.  Weird.  We are supposed to get blasted tonight with about 3 inches…which in weather forecaster talk means it’ll probably blow right past us, leaving behind only a dusting.

11.  I’m not sure what I was thinking but I am having back to back holiday parties here in a couple weeks.  But that has allowed me to hire a housecleaner to come in and scrub the place down.  🙂  There are perks…