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Key to Happiness…

From the perspective of a 4 1/2 year old.

1)  Wear something sparkly EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.  Be it shoes, pants, a shirt, a scarf.  Anything that dazzles is bound to make your day a hit.

2) Hug your mom and dad at least 10 times a day.  Anything above 10 times is a special bonus.

3) Make your little brother belly laugh at least 5 times.  This comes from yelling BOO at the top of your lungs, hugging him, and shaking him.  (I don’t recommend that last one but he likes it.  She doesn’t like it when she gets in trouble)

4) Dance.  Shake your booty, your money maker, get your rear in gear.  Doesn’t matter WHAT you listen to.  And singing along with the song (even if you make up the words) works EVEN better.

5) Watch one episode of Family Guy before bed.  It doesn’t matter if you don’t get the jokes.  It’s the talking baby and talking dog that really make that show.

6) If for some reason you CAN’T find something sparkly…wear any combination of Pink and Purple.

7) Popsicles.  It’s what’s for dessert.

8) If you don’t have popsicles…ice cream with sprinkles or popcorn with cheddar sprinkles works ALMOST as well.

9) Best Friends…they rock.  You can’t have life without a BFF.

10)  Barbies and Princesses make the world go ’round.

And there you have it….life of a preschooler in 10 easy steps.

Punk Rocker

I’ll admit it…I’m a punk rocker at heart.  Sex Pistols.  Misfits.  The Cure.  Anything non mainstream from my youth…Loved it.  Did I mention Gwar?

Today I was at the grocery store…Meijer for you Midwesterners.  And I happened to pass the clearance section.  And this called to me.  It’s a little big but I HAD buy it.  Had to.

That’s right….Punk Rock (and God) saved the queen.

I freaking LOVE it.

Let’s Bowl Let’s Bowl Let’s Rock N Roll…

You may appreciate the Grease 2 reference….you may not.  But either way….we joined a bowling league.  It started last night.

Hellz yeah it was a BLAST!  It’s with Hubby’s softball cohorts…it’s co-ed and there is drinking.  What more do you need?

For those of you that don’t live in the midwest, you may not appreciate the love we have for bowling.  But what else is there to do in the middle of winter other than bundle up, trudge through the knee high snow to a dark, smoke filled building where you throw 11 or 12 or 16 pound balls at a bunch of pins in the hopes of knocking them down? As a matter of fact, it’s such a midwestern thing that it took Shannie a full five minutes before she recovered from laughing before she realized I was serious that 1) we had in fact joined a league and 2) I have my own ball and shoes.

So we did it…and whilst flexing our muscles with the balls, we also practiced the one-armed curl with one hand while stuffing copious amounts of fried foods into our mouths with the other.  Because that’s all you need in a bowling alley snack shack – a deep fryer.  Mini tacos, nachos, chicken fries and curly fries.  Yum yum yum.  The diet of champions.

I’m proud to say I am TEAM CAPTAIN.  Not sure if I got that role because I deserve it or because I am the only girl on our team and they felt bad for me.  Either way, my duty is to collect the money each week and make sure these boys bowl when they are supposed to, on their designated lane.  Lots of responsibility but I can handle it.  And after listening to years of softball nicknames, I finally have my own…Captain D in the house.

Again…me and three guys.  Our team name:  3 pins and a split.  Obviously I didn’t come up with that one…but it’s fitting.  And as they put it, it leaves lots of room for jokes for any of the guys that have to sub for me.  So I’m good with it.

Last night was all about setting our averages.  I bowled a 121, 96 (69 backwards in case you didn’t notice…I assure you the guys did) and a 124.  My official bowling average – 113.  Whoop Whoop.  Over a hundo.  Can’t believe that happened.  Maybe I should have sandbagged but I just couldn’t help.  It was the beer bowling…

Next week I have to take pictures.  So that I have record of the best bowler on our team landing a full face plant after coming back from the bathroom. However only video could capture the guys calling him SAFE.  (Remember, they all play softball together…)  Or pictures of me enjoying the 80s flashback music.  Or of Hubby bowling like a rockstar!  Don’t get me wrong, I brought my camera.  But both hands were consistently occupied…between the beer and fried munchies.  Oh, and the bowling.

Look out PBA….here I come!

2010..Ringing in the New Year

Happy New Year Bloggy Friends!  Anyone still out there…coming by once in a blue moon to check me out?

I just posted on FB that I have a blog so I figured I’d update….just in case anyone stops by.

Like many millions out there…I’ve made some resolutions.

1.  Be more patient with Avery.  That resolution was tested today while trying to pay for the next session of her dance class.  As she was either spinning Carson’s stroller around in a circle.  Or pulling the little stretchy things designed to keep people in a line – and letting them go.  You know what I’m talking about.  I tried to keep my cool.  Then I threatened to take the Barbie Whorehouse and Camper away…and the lady next to me offered to take them.  That struck a nerve with my little princess….dressed head to toe in Hello Kitty.  So she sat still.  For about 2 minutes.

2. My ass will get smaller in 2010.  And my arm flab will go away.  My wiggly belly – a thing of the past.  I signed up for a dance class.  Cellulite BE GONE I say!  It will happen.  I started the class today.  And tomorrow we are learning a whole routine to BEAT IT!  Loving it all…I’ve got some slick MJ moves.

3.  Learn to use my new Mac.  Hubby will be happy with that…since he bought it for me.  It’s a little intimidating…and since I can’t find any of the documents I’ve been saving, this resolution might take a little longer to accomplish.

4.  Let’s go back to #2 for a minute.  Included in getting rid of about 30(ish) pounds…I want to wear my old jeans.  And a bathing suit.  Without having to wear a cover up the size of a 8-man tent.

5.  I’m going to purge.  Lots.  Shit I should have thrown away years ago.  Relationships that suck.  (Which doesn’t pertain to ANYONE who reads this blog).  Clothes I don’t need.  All of that.  2010 is the year of minimizing.

6.  Finally, I am going to get back to blogging.  Ok, I’ve said that many times.  But it’s the year for ME.  The year for doing what I want to do…in order to keep my sanity.

In my mind I had lots more to write down.  And I’m sure it will all come to me as soon as I hit the publish button.  Maybe I should have made a list…WAIT – that was one of them.  Keeping a list of things I want to do.  Damn.

Happy 2010.  What’s your #1 resolution?