Merry Christmas Y’all!
24 Dec 2011 1 Comment
Jesus is the reason for the season, peeps! I keep repeating this mantra over and over again as I race from the grocery store, to the mall, to Target – over and over again. Picking up “one last thing”.
And at last, here it is, Christmas Eve. The cumination of months of hunting, searching, and finding that special present for that special person. I estimate that my children will take those 2 months and boil it all down to about 15 mintues of ripping and tearing sometime before the sun comes up tomorrow morning. But OH it will be so worth it. Avery is into it – Carson is into it and I think Hubby and I are even MORE into it. I cannot wait to see the looks on their faces when they discover the toys that arrive from Santa’s Workshop.
It was dicey on whether or not Santa would have snow, here in Beverly Hills, this Christmas. But Mother Nature did cooperate and we have a light dusting! Just enough for a smooth landing. Thank goodness – as this diverts many questions of “Mommy, how will Santa land if there’s no snow?” Remind me to drop her a thank you note and a loaf of Fruit Cake.
So anyway – I did put off the trip to the grocery store until Christmas Eve. Not my wisest decision ever…but it’s not my worst. I thought I would outsmart the masses – and go EARLY. At 5:57am I pulled myself out from under the dead weight of a 2 1/2 year old (yes, he still comes into our room every night – and sometimes this Mrs. Claus doesn’t have the energy to carry him back to his race car bed….but that’s neither here nor there…). I pulled on my silly wooly hat and my running shoes, without bothering to change my bright pink fuzzy pants, with traces of my new MakeUp Forever Smoky Lash mascara (early present to myself thank you very much) still visible under my puffy eyes, and marched out the door to Meijer. Some interesting observations:
1) There was already a line at the Starbucks located inside my local Meijer – which tells me that “get there earlier than everybody else” idea wasn’t as original as I thought.
2) The words piping through the speakers as I hurried from aisle to aisle – trying not to spill my Starbucks – where “It’s the most wonderful time of the year…” Uh-huh.
3) There must have been a MAD rush yesterday for every item on my list because many of the shelves were empty. I mean – who else needs shredded Swiss cheese? Apparently many others in the 10 mile radius of this store.
4) Despite it being 6am on Christmas Eve – the masses (I use that term lightly because it really wasn’t like a Black Friday mob rushing to get that $100 flatscreen) were FRIENDLY. Down right – cheerful. There were Merry Christmas wishes left and right. It warmed my heart.
I am home now, another pot of coffee brewing. In my heart, I know that later tonight I will live to regret my choice of rolling out of bed and hitting the store. But that’s ok. It’s only Christmas once a year.
And I shall leave you with this..3 years ago there was a bloggy Wine Glass Exchange – and this was the one I received….
Old Man Winter
10 Dec 2011 1 Comment
We got a visit from a little man this morning here in Beverly Hills…but it wasn’t from that Jolly Old St. Nick bearing gifts of good tidings….I should only be that lucky.
Old Man Winter arrived with a FIERCE greeting. As I was walking past my trusty thermometer I noticed that the outside temp said 14.0 – and I immediately thought to myself “Huh, must have gotten changed to Celsius”. As I went to fix it I noticed that tiny little F next to the numbers. And immediately another F went through my mind.
With the exception of Christmas, I really do strongly dislike winter. (I’d say HATE but that’s such a strong word…)
Instead of Old Man Winter, I really wish that Little St. Nick would have arrived wearing Bermuda shorts and sunglasses and drinking a margarita. Just saying.
Father of the Year
08 Aug 2011 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized
I know it’s only the beginning of August but if nominations for Father of the Year are being accepted, I have one to enter. (Please note this statement is dripping with sarcasm.)
As I mentioned in my last post…we are building a deck. It’s a known fact that a requirement for any home improvement project is a minimum of 433 trips to Home Depot. I was on trip 432 when I witnessed this moment of 100% pure STUPIDITY.
Driving home on a somewhat busy 5 lane road I noticed traffic slowing down…there was a man, with a bike, in the left turn lane. His kickstand was down and he was standing there. Next to him is a small child, probably 3 or 4 I’m guessing, with an armload of snacks and his bike – complete with training wheels. He is waiting with dad. On the side of the road, mere inches from the rushing traffic is yet another small boy, on his bike, stranded. By now I have passed them and am witnessing the events unfolding in my rearview mirror. As the traffic clears, he sends the boy in the middle of the road to the other side…where there is a large curb and no sidewalk. UNACCOMPANIED. Yes. You heard me right. He let the boy CROSS THE FREAKING ROAD ALONE, left to manage pushing his bike while balancing the goodies obviously purchased from the newly opened 7-11. Then, rather than crossing the road to collect the 2nd boy, he simply waved him across when traffic cleared. God forbid either of the kids fell and needed assistance…IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD.
I never heard sirens, or saw flashing lights, so I believe they all made it to safety. But here’s a tip – a 1/4 mile north, at the corner where the 7-11 is, there’s a LIGHT. AND A CROSSWALK.
Hey Einstein – I’ll bet they could make a Real Men of Genius commercial about you. Probably more appropriate than Father of the Year. At least both boys were wearing helmets…maybe he should get credit for that. On second thought…I don’t think so.
Life behind the lens…
07 Aug 2011 Leave a Comment
in Avery
We are building a deck and I took some pictures of the progress. As I started downloading I realized that there were a large number of photos that I had not taken. It appears that Avery got a hold of my camera numerous times.
Take a gander at some of the better/more creative ones. And yes, Carson is asleep in the chair. Just remember – try not to fall asleep and drool…she WILL catch it on film.
He’s 100% Boy
29 Apr 2011 1 Comment
Carson is a mere 22 (almost) months old – but he is 100% boy. Of this I have proof.
This week, thanks to the nonstop pouring rain, our backyard is full of mud. We could host the National Mud-wrestling Championship in our yard. Which will NOT be doing, much to Hubby’s and our male neighbors dismay. But it has created a new outlet for creativity…
How could I say no to him? I mean how cute is it that he jumps into the puddle, jumps out and yells TA DA!!! at the top of his lungs? (I had video but it won’t let me add it…)
However – this is what his clothes looked like for two days in a row:
On a side note the rain has forced some of the nasty creepy crawlers into the basement…where these shoes dwelled. I brought them upstairs to take pictures of them…to show you all proof that it’s time buy stock in P&G (I use Tide, ya know). I took the picture and when I lifted the shoes., I found one of those nasty ass millipedes on the bottom. It was E.NORM.OUS. At least 10″ long…at least. Maybe even longer. With antenne and fangs. And it reared its head at me and I think it might have actually hissed. Rather that slay it myself, I took the shoe outside and shook it off. After it landed with a “thud” it scampered away…probably to prey on a small creature. Freaking disgusting is what it was.
This boy stuff is new to me…worms, mud, creepy crawly things. I don’t know if I’m ready for it…
ETA: So I was re-reading this a little while after I posted it and I can’t believe I forgot the BEST BOY story…my whole reason for this post. Yesterday morning I was in the bathroom, weighing myself, as I tend to do every morning. So I was there, in my birthday suit, and Carson walked in. “Hi Mommy. “ Pause. Wait for it. “BOOBIES!” Yep. I have NEVER EVER EVER in my life used that term around my son. But he heard it somewhere…and knows the proper definition. Good times. Good times.
Very Valid (?) Observations…maybe
27 Apr 2011 1 Comment
in Uncategorized
Recently (somewhat – I started this post some time ag0) we made the voyage north to my parents house. They live 2 1/2 hours away. Still well within the realms of civilization.
Before embarking on our trip I prepped Avery with the following information:
Mom: Now Avery I want you to understand that Grandma and Grandpa don’t have all of the fancy cable channels that we do. They have Disney and Nick but that’s all the kids stuff.
Avery: Do they have OnDemand?
Mom: No, Avery. (Now here I was thinking that she would respond that she didn’t want to go – as the world revolves around iCarly and Spongebob – much to my dismay. But I was completely blindsided by her comment…)
Avery: (Insert pondering, pensive look here) Well…..do they have electricity?
How the hell do I respond to that? It was a very valid observation since our hunting cabin, also located up north, is electricity-free.
What we didn’t expect to see is the deer. My mom mentioned that a few come by here or there…but I certainly didn’t expect a herd.
There were 10 of them…right outside the bedroom window.
And wandering down the street…
And grazing behind their house…
It was quite a show.
The next night, Hubby – the deer slayer – was up and he was checking out the show. Avery was convinced he missed seeing the deer – she didn’t realize that he was actually outside tracking. (No worries – it isn’t hunting season. Nothing was killed and gutted. You can take the deer hunter out of hunting season but you can’t take the hunter instinct away…that didn’t sound right but you get the idea…) Hubby told Avery that he did see the deer and showed her pictures on his computer that he said he took. She looked at him point blank, in all seriousness and said “Oh Daddy – you didn’t take those pictures. You just went to deer.com”.
Oh these tech savvy kids…I’m gonna be in some serious trouble…
10 Years later…
11 Mar 2011 3 Comments
Happy 10th Anniversary to us!!!
Our wedding was a bash! Elvis was there…some goldfish that still may be alive in the Detroit River.
Want to read about it? Check out this post
ETA: I just read the post from last year…on our 9th anniversary. And got to the bottom to discover that this is now the 3rd year running that I have used this material. Oh well…I hope you enjoy anyways. If you’ve already read these stories…take another trip down memory lane with me. If you haven’t – enjoy!!!
The Great American Novelist
10 Mar 2011 Leave a Comment
in Avery
She has a flair for words. She’s witty. She’s insightful. Based on her early works, I think Avery just might be the next one to write THE GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL. You don’t believe me?
I have proof that she’s a genius. I have proof that she knows what she’s talking about…just take a look at her first solo effort (notice the paper hanging behind it – that was the rough draft):
There you have it, folks. See what I mean? Although maybe I need to have a talk with her about a cat laying eggs? Or maybe it’s a methaphor for something bigger, something better. Something to discuss in a study group. I already thinking – who laid the egg, exactly? And where? What is the symbolism in that statement? What was the author trying to tell us about society in that statement? (Man I hated 12th grade Lit)
Not to be outdone by her brother
17 Feb 2011 2 Comments
in Avery
Our lives currently revolve around what is or is not FAIR. In our Daisy Troop we earned a petal on Honest and Fair. So after paying a little tribute to Carson, it would only be FAIR for Avery to get her share of the spotlight (like she doesn’t get enough already…)
While Carson has been busy doing *boy things* Avery has certainly held up her end of the *girly* bargain…
So with visuals…I present “The Life and Times of her Highness”
She’s a Master of Disguise. Never would know it was her, would you?
She’s a baker – believe me, under the frosting, M&Ms, sprinkles and who knows what else is an Easy Bake hockey puck Yellow Cake .
She’s part of a girl group. They are yet unnamed and based on their performance (straight up yelling in the microphone) it should probably stay that way. But heed the words on her shirt “Someday I’ll be Famous”…now THAT I believe to be true. What is even funnier is how they used a couple of flashlights for their “lighting effects”…so funny.
In the immortal words of Christmas Story “I can’t put my arms down.” That’s 2 t-shirts, a sweater, tights, leggings, jeans, and 3 pairs of socks under those snow pants. And you can guess, before I even say it, what she said as soon as she was dressed…
She does self-tattooing…
Funny story alert: The pants below – she refuses to wear them. They are fun, with silver in them. I talked her into wearing them one day when she had kinderplus, saying that her teacher was sure to just LOVE them. When I picked her up, I asked if her teacher liked her fancy pants and her teacher tells me how their conversation went:
Mrs: R – Avery, I love your purple pants. You look like a grape.
Avery – That’s funny, Mrs. R because I had grapes for lunch.
And there you have it…
She celebrates 100 days of school with flare…
She still has her same Valentine – Sam…aren’t they so grown up?
And if she plays hard enough – she crashes with the best of them…
The (mis)Adventures of Carson the Barbarrian
16 Feb 2011 4 Comments
I was forewarned. And you know what they say “forewarned is forearmed”, right. I call Bullshit.
The warning that I didn’t heed? Boys are WAY different than girls. I heard it repeatedly while I was pregnant. Walking hand in hand with my sweet darling daughter, rubbing my expanding belly and proudly announcing “We are having a boy!” People would say those words “Boys are so much different than girls. “ And they’d snicker. That was the part that I wasn’t getting. Why do they laugh? Why do they look at me with sympathy when I brush off their comments?
WELL – Carson is now 19 months old and I am hear to tell you – IT’S TRUE. Every last bit of it. BOY ARE WAY DIFFERENT THAN GIRLS. If you are out there…enjoying your girly girl – pretty dresses, princesses, Dora and have a small infant bouncing baby boy that has yet to reach say crawling age – HEED MY WARNING. Nothing, I mean NOTHING, can prepare you for what lays ahead.
I speak the truth – with visuals:
He looks sweet, innocent, cherub-like. It’s all a farce…
It’s started with throwing food. Yes, those are scrambled eggs scattered to and fro. And a look of pure satisfaction on his little round face.
And then there was the Trix cereal…at least he had the decency to yell “UH-OH” as he was stomping his feet and smashing them to bits all over the floor. The worst part…I gave them to him in a “child-proof” Snack Trap. Yeah. Right.
Boys are naturally prone to WWF tendencies…as seen here. (Now don’t feel too bad for Avery, she asked for it…literally – as in “Carson, come play with your sister.”)
This next one is pretty funny…and has a story. I popped a few mini pancakes in the microwave. Gave them to him in a bowl. Easy as pie, right? He came back rather quickly and said MORE while pointing to the box. Ok. (read: Mom’s a sucker) He came back for more. Again. He understands quite a bit…so I asked him “Carson, where did your pancakes go?” He ran off (oh that’s another thing – boys DON’T walk. They run. EVER.Y.WHERE) and I hear the telltale sound of the doll stroller coming around the corner. Guess Elmo was hungry too.
Not to be outdone by family pictures being taken in the living…he had to show up the event that was “The Daddy Daughter Dance” by getting into a little mischief. Ya know what is running through his mind – “Wasn’t me, wasn’t me.”
And finally…they climb. Stairs, chairs, sofas, bookshelves, on toys. You name it and a boy will figure out a way to turn it into a jungle gym. But this one…this last picture is classic. First he was climbing on the dining room table, and would call MAMA to be rescued. Quick mom fix: move all of the dining room chairs. But he quickly learned with a little sweat he could move them back. It was like that scene from Poltergeist – I’d move the chairs, turn my back and as soon as I turned back the chair was back at the table and he was on it. But soon that proved to no longer be a form of entertainment for Carson. He moved on. And this time, he really got stuck. He could not figure out any way to get down. I laughed. And took a picture. Before rescuing him.
I can only wait until the weather warms and our adventures take us outside. Into the land of mud and bugs and small furry animals. Good times. Good times.
Now if you will excuse me, I can hear the sound of toys bouncing done the stairs…and I can guarantee you – they are Avery’s toys, not his. Boys are smart too.
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